As a vegetarian, it seems strange to me that once upon a time burgers were the loves of my life. My dream date would be a trip to Bleecker Street burgers in Spitalfields market, where my gorgeous date and I would discuss our interests; theatre, literature, maybe dabble in a bit of politics and definitely discuss our undying love for Madmen. All in all, it would be a great date – only there would never be a second one on the cards because I’d eaten my company. My hot, smoking date was a burger, and for £3.89 there was no better lunchtime companion. For the first time ever, the famous “it’s not you, it’s me” line would be turned on its head to “it’s not me, it’s you… because you’re the juiciest burger I’ve ever seen.” Of course, like any respectful partner I’d thank the burger for the memories and move on… To Five Guys.
Was that a bad joke?
You’re nodding furiously, so I should probably explain myself. Not too long ago, I read and wrote numerous articles about where to get the biggest and most beautiful slab of beef in London. I made it my duty as a proud carnivore to try all of the joints out. And I’ve gotta say, they were incredible burgers – definitely teetering an eleven on the one-to-ten scale that everyone references in life’s daily decision-makings. So I would huff, puff and heave out of my seat and push open the greasy glass doors of eateries with the satisfaction that only came after consuming a ground-breaking burger. Inside my head I was thinking ‘forget Leonardo DiCaprio,’ someone needed to give that pig an Oscar for its impeccable performance as ‘Big Mac’ in the ongoing series of McDonalds.
The day I became a vegetarian
Sorry. That’s the last bad joke, I promise. It wasn’t until five months ago that my meat-oriented lifestyle changed. On a typically English rainy and boring Tuesday, I was cooped up in my duvet scrolling through my Facebook news feed. I accidentally clicked on the wrong link shared by a vegan friend. Within seconds, a noisy video of an animal slaughter-house was playing. It showed graphic ‘secret’ footage of what really went on behind closed doors. It was like an invasion of my senses. Six minutes later I closed the tab, feeling sick to my stomach and horrified. That day, I decided to be a vegetarian.
5 months later as a vegetarian
Fast-forward to five months later, I’m still meat-free and healthier than ever (although after all those burgers, it wasn’t hard). I’ve learnt quite a few things being a veggie, and in case you were interested in a scruffy East Londoner’s wisdom, I’ve summarised them for you in four points:
- I don’t care what your view of animal cruelty is. I’m a believer in freedom as much as I am in equality. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion on the subject. From what I saw in that video, I personally could never eat meat again – no matter how divine the burger smelt, or no matter how juicy the burger looked. That doesn’t mean that you can’t still have lunch dates with burgers.
- If my friends are craving a Nandos and a much deserved catch-up, you can bet your little stars that I’ll be there, no matter what, eating a veggie wrap and halloumi, because I love my friends. And bottomless drinks. And peri-peri sauce.
- I have a deep and spiritual connection with broccoli and asparagus. I try to steer clear from the potatoes, pizza and pasta diet of a junk-food veggie. All of my meals are based around what green vegetables I can get my hands on. It doesn’t have to be Christmas to eat Brussel sprouts.
- Avocados and coconuts are very ‘in’ right now. Instagram them and watch the likes follow. (Psst, you’ll get top points for a tropical beach in the background).
