You would think that in this day and age there would be no need to talk about interracial dating and sites like Interracial Dating Central would be the norm by now. It?s 2015. But when you have had the chance to truly fall for someone whose skin or culture differs from your own, your entire perspective on the matter is bound to change. You?ll find that loving someone outside your race can teach you a number of valuable life lessons. Here are a few things I learned:
Never judge a book by its cover.
This one goes without saying. We?re constantly surprised by the people around us because we?re quick to judge before they?ve even opened their mouths. Totally natural, and you?re lying if you say you?ve never done it. Someone who smiles constantly may be looked at as more bubbly, whereas another person with a perpetual scowl may be deemed a miserable bore. The funny thing is, their personalities can be the complete opposite of their outward appearance, and the same goes for dating outside of your race. We may think that one group is more docile, romantic or maybe even more pretentious than the other. You learn to leave these thoughts at the door when you fall for someone ethnically, racially or culturally different to you.
We?re all the same.
Everyone wants to be loved whether you?re black, white, blue or green. It is human nature to want to feel secure, to be taken care of and to be shown respect. When you choose to be colourblind in a relationship, you start to see that we all have similar interests and want a lot of the same things in life. Your weekends may not be characterized by mudding or hiking, and his may not consist of rave festivals and concerts. Sure, our day-to-days might differ, but we?re all looking to have a good time.
You have the opportunity to embrace a culture outside of your own.
Your partner may not be used to a household where the predominant language spoken is one outside of his own. Or maybe she celebrates holidays you?ve never heard of because of her religion. You as a couple have the power to teach each other about your family traditions, and perhaps unmask more appreciation for your own culture too.
It builds confidence and security.
People from every shade, culture, and religion are portrayed in a variety of ways in the media, both positive and negative. It is that, along with our own personal experiences that shape the way we think about other individuals. Dating someone different from you can definitely shut down any preconceived notions you?ve had. When dating outside of your race, expect a lot of stares. Some will be encouraging and others will be judgmental. The great thing about it is eventually you stop caring what others think. Let them admire you from afar.
There?s no right or wrong way to date someone of another race.
The fact that articles exist detailing how to text a white guy versus a black guy is disappointing. Seriously… why? We all have different ideas of what constitutes a successful relationship, and chances are your dating style may differ from the person sitting right next to you. But these are case-by-case scenarios and race hardly has anything to do with it. This goes back to stereotypes and how most of them are absurd. Take my word for it – this is coming from a black girl who ?talks like a white girl,? a Caribbean woman obsessed with Italian food, and a person whose playlist jumps from classical to rap to Disney to country.
Love has no colour.
At the end of the day, we?re all human. Sure, there are cultural differences to consider when dating someone of another background. But when you choose to ignore what?s outside and focus more on who the person is as an individual, you?ll see how silly our false concepts on race really are. As someone who?s been doing it before it was cool, I can say that in the course of my relationship history, one guy did not differ from the other because of melanin levels or ethnicity. Interracial dating is like falling in love in an unlit room… nothing but the sounds of two voices, two breaths, and two hearts syncing into one. If we could all fall in love that way, then the world could be a much better place.
