New Year – new me! That’s how you start every January 1st, at midnight, raising your glass of champagne and toasting to all the amazing things you’re going to accomplish. This is it – it’s your year. You’re going to go to the gym every day and get an eight pack, you’ll finish your novel, you’ll get that well-paid job in your field, you’ll find your soulmate, and fall in love and get married. You have a list of resolutions. Starting tomorrow, you say, or rather, later today, I am going to be a whole different person.
And maybe you are. Maybe you do end up using the gym membership you got for the first three weeks at least. Maybe you somehow make it to February, tucking away all your change in a jar so you can treat yourself come December, even though you could really, really use the – what’s it come to now, about £8.57 – for gum because you need to do something for your mouth now that you’re finally going to quit smoking for good. But then March finds you on your couch, binge-watching Netflix, munching on day-old take out, with an overflowing ashtray, wondering what happened to all those shiny and bright ambitions you had at the start of the year.
The first month has already flown!
Well, it’s February already! So, be real with yourself. After all, remember to Treat yourself. You deserve it. How many of your resolutions did you actually stick to? You probably didn’t even make it to the end of January on some of them (giving up chocolate? Come on!). Maybe you woke up late in the afternoon on January 1st, considered actually refreshing your resume, then told yourself no, it’s too late now, I’ll do that tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow –
And it’s February now. St. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, but you haven’t met your soul mate yet, haven’t even gone looking! You definitely haven’t gotten that job – maybe you didn’t even apply, maybe you convinced yourself now isn’t the time. Or you know, the equivalent of whatever it is you decided to do this year, but haven’t quite gotten around to yet.
Has the train left motivation station?
What even went wrong? In December you were so determined! You made that long optimistic Facebook post! You told all your Twitter followers! You were definitely going to get it all right this time!
And the thing is – you were. You meant every word, and you still do. When you say “I’ll do it tomorrow (or in March),” you mean it every time.
We live in the kind of fast paced time where the space from Jan 1st to the start of February of the same year can feel like a blink. You’d expect to just say you’re going to do something and get instant results. Saving all those pennies didn’t make you instantly richer so you stopped. Going to the gym made you self-conscious, because you weren’t looking like the super ripped personal trainer you keep seeing around after the first two weeks. That diet was good in theory, but you didn’t have time to cook all the food. You do want to finish your novel but then what?
It’s easy, by the time you roll into the actual New Year to forget that the old you was doing pretty great too. The old you got you to where you needed to be. So what if you still have some of their habits?
Resolutions for you but more you.
In 2017, instead of resolving to do a laundry list of things that you might not end up doing at all – and then feeling disappointed in yourself for it, resolve to just be kinder to yourself. Not just in the “treat yourself” kind of way that most people take this as (I mean. Do treat yourself, definitely), but also in the “I will not beat myself up and think mean thoughts if I cannot do the things I said I would do” way. In the “I love and accept myself even though I am flawed” way.
Resolve not to expect things to happen right now immediately, not to get discouraged, if something new you tried out doesn’t work out, or if something old that was perfectly functional suddenly stops working (and that applies to everything – makeup, hairstyle, outfits, hobbies, friends).
Resolve to have patience – for yourself, and for everyone else around you, who might need it, and resole to have faith that things are going to happen the way they are meant to, then try to help them get there.
There’s always rights, forget the wrongs.
Don’t look at yourself and see all the things that you think are wrong. Try to look at all the things that are right. Make a list of resolutions that is just the things you want to carry into the new year – a passion for art, a new recipe you’ve mastered, a weird and obscure interest, borne out of a late night delving into a well of Wikipedia searches. Think about old you, and let her help New You. Rely on yourself. Trust yourself to be better without bringing out that annoying voice in the back of your brain that kind of sounds like a less encouraging and more menacing version of Shia LeBouf screaming “Just do it!”
It’s February, but it’s still a new year, and a new February, different from all the February’s you’ve had before. Hopefully it will be a good one – look after yourself. Look at your resolutions. Cross out the ones that you know you won’t keep. Alter the ones that will be hard. Add new ones that are simpler and easier. Find the ones that will make you lighter and happier. And hey – if New You wants to look at Old You’s takeout menus? -go for it! Enjoy life as it comes.
