Nomi Leasure On… Love Triangles

I’m in love with two guys and I have no idea what to do! I’ve been casually dating them both on and off for almost 3 years. I know I can’t continue to see both of them forever. I eventually want to settle down with one man but the thought of having to cut ties with either of them absolutely breaks my heart into a million pieces. I’ve tried weighing out the pros and cons between the two, but that doesn’t work because they’re both equally awesome in different ways. I just can’t choose.  Help! – Anonymous

Dear Ethical Slut,

Don’t be deterred by my harsh greeting, it’ll all come full circle once you click the link at the end.

You, my friend, are in a delicious predicament. Why – so many girls are pulling their hair out trying to score one decent gentlemen and here you’ve got TWO on your hands.

But I know how you feel. There were times in my relationship that we weren’t really, well, in a relationship. And during that time we both went off and explored other people, people we had feelings for and cared about. And cutting ties and making a choice when it came down to it was hard. Making choices is hard. We’re a very indecisive generation.

However, my honest diagnosis is that neither of these guys is the one for you. As much as you say you’re so into them, it would be NO contest if you had incredibly strong feelings for one of them. Sure you say eventually you want to be with just one guy but who’s to say it has to be one of these guys? From the way it sounds you’re certainly not ready to settle down right now at least.

My question – do they know about each other? That’s the key. Because if not you’re definitely hardcore heart-breaking and I’m not one to usually take this side but girl that’s not cool. I mean three years? That’s a long time to string someone along. Let alone two people.

Lay it all out there and get everyone on the same page. And maybe they’ll be down to continue along this course of things. It’s not unheard of.