Hey Nomi. I have a kind of deep, intense question for you so if you find it hard to answer, it would be helpful to hear what you think you would do in my position. I’m 22, still in college and have just found out I’m pregnant. My boyfriend would be supportive whatever I decide and he’s stable in terms of career and money. I definitely don’t feel ready to have a baby but at the same time, I’m such an emotional person that I don’t know if I could ever get over an abortion. I’m so stuck and feel like I’m too all the over the place to make any sort of decision – Tami.
Have an abortion.
You just answered the only question that matters: “I definitely don’t feel ready to have a baby.” Just view it as a medical procedure – something you’re doing for your own health and safety.
The authors of Freakanomics, the book that become a global sensation and now has a supporting documentary and podcast, set out to uncover the cause of lowered crime rates in the 1990s. No one could find supporting evidence that it was policing practices, drug use, or a surging economy. The crime rates seemed to mysteriously just…drop. Stick with me here.
The 1990s also happened to be when the first wave of children born after Roe v. Wade* were hitting their early young adult phase. The same phase of life when men (sorry, it’s mostly men) would begin criminal activities. The crime rate began to fall when this generation all came of age minus the children whose mother’s hadn’t wanted children and were able to make that decision. All the would be criminals, the kids who would have been born into a home or family situation that was less than desirable, to mothers who weren’t ready, or weren’t willing to have a child, were never born. States that had early legalization of abortions (New York, California, Washington, Alaska, Hawaii) witnessed a %13 drop in violent crime compared to all other states, with murder rates falling 23% more than other states as well.
You feel that you are an emotional person and “wouldn’t be able to get over having an abortion,” but would you be able to “get over” raising a child without an adequate skill set to do so? Without even the desire to do so? Could you “get over” the possibility of the type of life that child may live being raised by children him or herself? There are plenty of people out there who will disagree with this, and that’s fine. It’s each individual woman’s decision to make. I’m sure if you have the baby you will love it more than you’ve even thought possible to love something. But you’re twenty-two for pete’s sake! Now is the time to love yourself the most.
Best of luck with your decision, Tami.
* Roe v. Wade was the landmark decision by the Supreme Court that marked unconstitutional the state laws that banned abortions
3 comments
Please don’t have an abortion on the advice of someone else, especially someone that doesn’t know you. It’s a very personal decision and only you can decide if it’s the right thing for you. Whichever decision you make you are the one that has to live with that decision no one else.
I agree with Nomi. Tami, I have been in your shoes before and to be honest it was not that long ago. I chose to have an abortion because I had the same questions you did. “Am I ready for this at 22 years old?” No. “Can I provide for my child the way my parents did?” No. “Would I be happy having to have my world revolve around another human being that I chose to bring into this world?” No. At the end of the day I chose what I thought would be a better decision for me in the long run. Yes, I had no doubt like Nomi said that I would be able to love my child like I’ve never loved before but I also want to live my life. Yes I had some unaccomplished goals in life and I still do and I would not be able to do what I wanted given I have a child to provide for. But, do what you think is best for you. I honestly think you came here to get other peoples open opinion about your situation because sometimes its hard to talk to friends because of several reasons. They may not believe in abortions etc. In any case, whatever decision you go with is what will ultimately make you happy in the end. Good luck Tami.
I also want to give a shout out to Nomi!! Your beautiful, very intelligent and I wish you nothing but the best. I’m sure my name rings a bell. We went to school together and it makes me happy seeing a fellow Capa alumni and friend from back in the day doing extremely good. I’m happy for you Nomi. You deserve nothing but the best in any path you choose. Good luck beautiful!!
-Jade
Tami please don’t have an abortion. I know the decision is up to you. Just think if you do get that abortion, just remember you are taking an innocent life. It’s just NOT fair to the child. And down the line you may regret it BIG time. Please it’s give the child a chance. But I really hope you make the right decision.